Ok, time to take a moment

I've been so busy the last few months that I'm really having to analyze my life, specifically searching for some balance.  Last Saturday was the tip of the crazy iceberg as it began with:

a photo shoot
then taking Jaxon to library
home for 2 hours to eat, edit, and admire Doug's new holster he's making out of leather
then to Sam's club to pick up baby shower gifts, then to 2 different baby showers,
then the grocery store for some necessities
then another photo shoot
then on a date with Doug to the adult session of stake conference where the Spirit spoke to me and said,

"PRIORITIZE"
"Slow down"
"it's ok to just be home with your family and you don't have to consume your thoughts with Relief Society"
"BALANCE"
"pray to accomplish the things that are of most importance that day"

So I'm taking some time to contemplate those most important things in life.

1.  The Lord
2.  My loving Husband
3.  The beautiful children the Lord has blessed me with
4.  Myself...Doug keeps telling me I need to do things for me.
5.  Housework???
6.  Responsibilities of being Relief Society President

It's so easy to put #6 as #1 as I feel I've got to be serving the sisters, seeking inspiration for callings and visiting teaching routes, somehow bringing the joy of the Gospel of Jesus Christ to every inactive sister, making sure this sister knows she's loved and that sister knows she's supported, making dinner invitations and playdates to befriend others, etc.

After spending the previous Saturday all day in Nashville at a regional RS meeting/training with Sis. Allred from the General RS Presidency, I came home to a husband who had tended to the kids, made dinner, and after about 2 hours with the family I received a phone call of a sister who needed immediate help.  I then spent the next 5.5 hours in the ER, later Bishop showed up and he and his wife stayed until 3:30am and let me go home to get some rest.  While there we witnessed a horrific scene.  A motorcycle accident had occurred, the "pack" along with friends and family rushed to the ER and they learned their loved one had passed away...wailing, mourning of all forms began to fill the waiting room.  As I sat there in the corner my heart just ached.  I ached for the women screaming "NOOOO!" I ached for the older woman who's legs gave out when she learned the news, I ached for the scary man with leather and tattoos who about put a hole in the glass door.  I wanted to bring comfort somehow to those hearts who were feeling such anguish and pain. I knew none of us there could give them the peace they needed.  But I did gently feel that there was one who could.  One who knows how to succor His people.  One who understands anguish, heartache, pain so intense that caused Him to bleed from every pore.

I know Jesus Christ is the only one who can bring peace to our souls...real, everlasting peace.  He is the Prince of Peace.  His love for us conquers all sorrow, all temptations, all sins.  Christ is our savior and the shepherd of our souls.  He can save us fro our sins, heal of us our infirmities, and lead us to a place of endless joy...exaltation.

I thought of all the recent interactions I have had with people loosing loved ones and it terrifies me that I might loose Doug.  I have a friend who lost her husband in a helicopter training accident last summer after only being married for a month.  I did a photo shoot for her in his memory recently and it was an unforgettable experience and feeling. (click here to see her photo shoot)

That night I came home from the ER, crawled into bed with Doug and snuggled up and just thanked my Father in Heaven that Doug was there.  I don't know what I would do without him.  Doug is my everything.  His upcoming deployment scares me as I know there's a chance he might not come back the same mentally, emotionally, spiritually, physically...or at all.  I know, horrible thoughts.  But none the less, they are real to me.  It makes me want to make the next 5 months the best ever.  (P.S.  I should add that I know Doug will be watched over and protected according to the Lords will and Doug does not fear any of these things...)

So with me trying to find some balance between all the good things in life.  I want to make sure that I'm living my days in accordance to the Lord's will for myself and loving my husband and children the best I can.  My life is good because we are together.  I want them to know and feel that they are my priority.  And if this means I can't be a superhero RS president (or photographer or preschool teacher or best friend to everyone), but that the sisters know I love the Lord, my husband and my children, then that's good enough for me.

Spring Time Family Photos

I know I have mounds of blogging to catch up on, but until then.  Here are our recent family photos taken by my dear friend Pela.

If you look close, Colt is wearing a WVU shirt and Tal has BYU...just a little something fun.

This one she told the boys to smile and me to make a face.