What's going on with me...

Placenta previa, hematomas, ultrasounds, nausea off and on, no traveling, no lifting, no exercising, pelvic rest, trying to stay positive, finally finished reading Alma, reading every Ensign article I can get my hands on about Faith, learning how to handle a very moody Talon, trying to keep Jaxon from escaping outdoors, too much Dora the Explorer and Backyardigans, a very supportive and loving husband, and a mother who just dedicated the last 2 weeks to cleaning my disasterous house, making yummy meals, taking my kids on walks and to the park, reading for hours on end Dinosaur text books to Jax, showing Talon how to do complicated puzzles, and teaching my children how to listen and obey their parents...she was our saving angel on so many levels.

Well, we did find out at our last ultrasound, we are having another BOY! His name will be Colton Tanner and so far our doctor thinks he'll be ok...I keep having feelings that he might not be as ok as she thinks. Hope Dr. Alexander is right and I'm wrong. She did say my placenta is much bigger than the normal prego person and so the egg size hemotoma blocking the placenta from giving nutrients to the baby doesn't seem to worry her. I couldn't believe that the hemotoma was almost as big as the 3 1/2" baby at our 14 week ultrasound. The hemotoma, which is a blood clot, was caused by the partial placental abrubtion I had at 12 weeks. I thought I was miscarrying because I bleed through almost 3 huge pads in about 6 hours. When I saw the doctor the next day, the bleeding had stopped and that's when this whole thing began. To prepare myself for the worse, my mind already took me to the "you're loosing this baby." But when we saw the heartbeat on the ultrasound, my heart was full of gratitude and relief.

The nurse told me I was to on strict bed rest, but my doctor told be to just take it easy by not lifting, not exercising, pelvic rest, not traveling farther than 30 minutes from the hospital in case I bleed again (placenta previa puts you at risk for hemoraging which could be fatal without a blood transfusion). So our 3 day drive to Utah on June 29th was cancelled and I missed my family's 4th of July pool party, Ben and Janelle's Wedding on the 7th, and all the family time we were going to enjoy all summer long until August 18th. Doug and I had even planned a week long getaway to Washington and Oregon which included another friends wedding and a beach house on the Oregon coast and visiting friends in the Vancouver/Portland area. Jaxon still asks to go to Blake's house (his 5 year old uncle that he loves) and doesn't understand why we aren't going. Luckily my mom came out to help and that was a huge blessing for us all.

So I know there's something I should be learning from all this and I hope I learn it soon. After spending the months of May and June sick 24/7 and in survival mode in our house, I feel like the little school girl who got grounded indoors all summer long. I know I should look at all the positives and there are many, but I'm just not totally there yet. I do feel blessed that the baby is ok and that my mother was able to come out and help. I also feel blessed that Doug will have 4 weeks off after this week and that he can help. I know the Lord lets us go through things like this to make us stronger in our faith in Him, I just hope that happens soon. Doug gave me a blessing blessing me with an increased faith and especially in Christ's atoning sacrifice. I know my trials are nothing compared to so many others and that Christ is there for us all during hard times. I know I'm brought to my knees a lot easier when I go through challenges and disappointments. If anything, this experience is giving me more sympathy for others who deal with physical challenges.

Thank you to all of you wonderful friends who have been so supportive. I love you all dearly and pray you are blessed for your selfless service.

Birthday Celebration for Talon

Doug's sister Katie blessed our lives as she rescued us for a week. Thanks to her dishes were done daily and many burdens were made light through her selfless service! My kids loved playing with her.

For Talon's 2nd birthday we met Doug for pizza at his school, which Talon loves seeing Dad during the day and he loves pizza. Later that afternoon we went to the pool. Jaxon loved every minute of it but Talon was a bit hesitant. By the end, he was enjoying the water and kept wanting to go on the diving board...few more years before that happens. When not in the water, he enjoyed walking around the pool and pointing out all the letters and numbers he knew that were written on the cement. He knows most of his alphabet and their sounds.



The next day, Grandma and Grandpa McArthur, Uncle Scott, Daniel, Katie, and Maddie joined us for ice cream dinosaur cake and for him to open his present. Grandma Mac gave his some cute shirts, Jax got him a Triceratops (his favorite dinosaur and says it so cute), and from Mom and Dad, some sunglasses. He's always wearing our sunglasses (and breaking them) so he got his very own.

In honor of my 2 year old- TALON

Talon’s 2^nd Birthday was in June, but I've been too sick to write posts and our internet has been in and out.

To my Talon James,

This last year you have grown so much! You’re playful, funny personality easily entertains us. Jax, or “Sass” as you call him, is your favorite playmate and when he’s not around us you frequently ask, “Where’s Sass?” Now that you are in a big boy bed, you love to wrestle and initiate play with Jax when you are supposed to be going to sleep. And since you are the first one up every morning, you are Jax’s alarm clock. If Jax doesn’t want to wake up to play with you, you get very frustrated and physically try to get him out of bed. Then you’ll yell “DAD-DY…wake up!”

Daddy’s definitely special in your life. You two have developed quite a bond these last couple of months since I’ve been so sick. If you wake up in the middle of the night and need comfort, you yell for Dad. If you fall down and get hurt, you go snuggle with dad. When you want a horse ride, you climb on dad’s back and say, “giddy-up”.

You are quite a little cowboy as your favorite accessory is your black cowboy hat. You love playing with your toy guns and LOVE dinosaurs (probably since Jax is obsessed as well). I did teach you that Dinosaurs ‘kiss’ each other, but somehow you decided that dinosaurs bite and growl at each other but they do kiss mommy. I don’t think I’ve received so many dinosaur kisses from plastic creatures before, nor kissed them myself (as you always insist).

You are Mr. Affectionate and freely offer your hugs, snuggles, and kisses. I love when you come up to me acting like a kitty cat and snuggle your little head into my shoulder while making a soothing noise. I also love seeing you give Jax a hug and tell him your sorry after you did something that made him sad.

Speaking of sad, you have been quite moody since April, I think it’s a combination of the allergy meds, teething, communication frustrations, and striving to be more independent. When a need is not being met, you have no problems expressing your emotions. Though this sometimes gets you in trouble, you are such an adorable kid in time out. You have kept us fighting laughter as your response to discipline has quite comical. For example, the other day dad put you in time out and said, “Stay there!” You furrowed your brow and yelled back, “NNNNOOOO!!!” Dad said, “ex-cuuuse-me.” And you responded calmly and naturally, “excuse you Daddy.” Or sometimes you’ll just burst into laughter after being punished…hhhmmmm…what to do with you.

Physically you’ve maintained your strong stature and have been wearing 2T clothing since 18months. You’re beautiful thick hair used to have curls before we cut it. I love your cheesy smile and frequently find myself just staring at your beautiful…I mean handsome face. My mom says you look a lot like me when I was your age.

Since I’m your mother and nursery teacher, I’ve seen your understanding of prayer start to grow. You love saying prayers and even when someone else is saying the prayer, you still offer your own. You always bless Mama, Daddy, Jax, Grandpa, Grandma, and who ever else is in the room, then you repeat this list over and over until the person is done praying and shout with arms extended and a proud smile on your face “A-MENNN!” Sometimes you even just fold your arms and say a prayer randomly.

Also, you love singing songs and pick up on them real fast, especially if they have movements. Some of your favorites are “Old McDonald” in which you tap your leg and stomp your foot, “Book of Mormon Stories”, “Itsy Bitsy Spider”, and your current favorite “I’m so glad when Daddy comes home!” You love playing “Ring-a-round-the-rosies” and “Duck, Duck, Goose” in which you always jump up anytime someone is tagged and run around and when it’s your turn to choose the goose, you go around the circle saying “Duck” about 40 times before you get to the goose. Also, you like to play the piano and say, “Mama…sing!” while you play.

Well, my little love, I’m so thankful you came into our lives when you did and for all the joy you frequently bring to my days. My heart breaks that I can’t lift you or let your climb on top of me to snuggle, but my heart is so in love with the person you are becoming. And in 9 months I can’t wait to hold my 31 lb, 35 in, cutie!

Love- Mama