In honor of our Anniversary...

I thought I'd post this email I recently sent to a friend who is deciding if she should marry her boyfriend. She asked me the following question and got quite a lengthy answer (which is quite personal). It was good for me to finally write this down as I was not good about keeping a journal back then.

She asked:

"How did I know I wanted to marry Doug?"

Well, it wasn't love at first sight. When we started dating, it was just for fun. We both did not think it would go anywhere since I had a missionary I was planning on marrying and he was not into having serious relationships. I did think he was fun to be around and the more we spent time together, the more I liked him. We were honestly just ourselves around each other since there was no need for impressing because we "didn't see it going anywhere." Well, then that became what I really like about him. That I could just be me and he appreciated me for that. Before my missionary came home (about 5 months later), I had probably broken things off with Doug about 5 times. Once when he left for summer break (beginning of May), again when he left for Alaska (middle of May), and the other times were over the phone when I kept saying, we can't talk any more and then I'd call him again...I just couldn't stay 100% away from this person who had become a REALLY good friend. But when my missionary came home in July, I really felt I was done with Doug and ready to pursue marriage with John (my missionary). I flew to see John and I thought it was glorious and all until John started to pull away. He had known about Doug and I and I think that threw him. But from my perspective, I felt John wasn't willing to "fight" for us when Doug was, even through me telling him that I was going to marry someone else. Doug treated me differently, like I was the most important thing to him and that he wasn't going to jet out of the relationship the moment things got rough. He opened my eyes up to a whoIe new kind of relationship. I realized I needed someone I could rely on, who was stable, and who I felt loved me more than anything! I remember deeply sobbing after I found out John wasn't going to move close to me and I didn't see how we could continue to pursue our relationship in different states. I really was devasted, well who did I want to talk to about it...Doug. I knew he would listen to me, comfort me, and just love me and that's exactly what happened. Doug sincerely was a true friend.

John and I both felt that we were no longer supposed to be together and upon officially calling things off, the first person I wanted to call was Doug. Though hesitant to lead Doug on any further, I didn't want to dive into our relationship again because I wasn't for sure he was the one. I thought about a mission and dating other guys, but then everything kept coming back to him. Finally after many long walks and conversations with Doug, he finally asked me, "Do you love me?" And the reality was, "yes." I did love him. I loved how he treated me, I loved his humility, I loved his happy/ goofy personality, I loved how I was his #1 priority. After a wonderful October General Conference weekend, I realized that he had come into my life at the most perfect time. That the way things had worked out, I was able to find someone I trusted, respected, and admired. I knew then that if I were to pray about marrying Doug that the Lord would say, "YES!" That scared me because I wasn't sure I was really ready to get married. I know that might sound funny since I was committing to marry John, but even with him, I felt like we needed some time to "get to know" each other again. Well, by Thanksgiving Doug and I were ring shopping. I remember the first time we crossed the tile floor of the mall into the carpet of Zales, we were so nervous and wondering if anyone saw us...so funny looking back. It just felt right. We fasted and prayed about it and I of course got my "Amber, you already know this is right." answer. And I did, from that point on, I was 100% dedicated to Doug and I and I've never looked back since. Now for Doug, he got a "yes" and another "yes" and another "yes" because he fasted and prayed about it before we got engaged and then a couple more times while we were engaged...funny how the tables turned.

Doug wasn't exactly the person I saw myself with as we are different, but the reality is that he is PERFECT for me. We have different hobbies and interests, but are together on the most important issues: living the gospel of Jesus Christ, creating a close knit family, loving each other, etc. There are a some things we do enjoy doing together: being creative, working on projects, cooking, dancing, and one of the most important- creating, teaching, and loving our children. It was really important for me to marry someone who would be a good example to our children of love, righteousness, and who put the Lord first and wife second. I knew that if I married someone who loved the Lord and did His will in their life, then I'd be marrying someone who would help me through this life and the eternities. That's a real concept, this is the person you are choosing to be with for forever!

Despite differences and difficulties, this is the person you are choosing to go through it all with. I will say when your dating you don't quite understand it all until you are married and living it (and I'm still learning)...and I say "thank goodness" for that. If we really knew everything we were getting into, maybe we wouldn't choose it because marriage is the hardest thing you'll ever have to do. But it is the most wonderful thing at the same time. I can just imagine how glorious it will be for Doug and myself when we've progressed and become the person the Lord wants us to be for each other. It's a constant road of progression.

Happy Anniversary BABE!!! I LOVE YOU!!!

Easter Weekend

What a glorious weekend it was with Daniel marrying Adrienne, all my family in town, and to celebrate that Christ has made it possible for us to be together as family forever!



More wedding pictures to come in another post.

We ate yummy reception leftovers for lunch, found Easter baskets, went to church, had an Easter egg hunt, and enjoyed a fabulous ham Easter dinner. Doug's parents joined us for the day and it truly was a celestial experience for us to have all our parents in our home.

Jaxon and Talon couldn't get enough of their aunt and uncles and grandparents! They loved the excitement and attention. Jaxon even got to sleep with his uncles...what a treat!

Here's a slide show of our Easter Egg hunt:




After taking the Sturgeons to Gabes, Monday morning, they took off to see church sites in Ohio, New York, uncle John in Philedelphia, and Washington D.C. Mom, Dan, and Hunter, along with Doug's parents, stayed around and we went to Coopers Rock for a rock climbing adventure (not the kind with ropes, just the kind you can climb on by yourself). The kids loved being outside and wanted to climb on every rock uncle Hunter did.

That night I helped Hunter earn extra credit in his Foods class at TMS (ahh, memories) and taught him how to make Chicken Cordon Bleu Bake...one of our favorites!

The next morning we went to the park before they took off to North Carolina to see aunt Val, sites in Washinton D.C. and Grandma Stu and Uncle Bob in Baltimore.

Being a Grownup.................

Well every now and then it really hits me that I'm a grownup. This past week Amber and I have been trying to get caught up on our finances (actually just entering all our spending into catergories like, household, kids, food, gas, utilities, etc.) Wow am I really that old that I am trying to be responsible and keep track and reduce costs where possible? I guess so. Just another part of being a grownup. Like owning your own lawnmower or paying bills or lieing awake at night thinking about potty training your three year old.
Amber is actually the driving force behind it all. I am sooooo glad that my wife has a good sense of money management cuz without her I'd probably be even more in debt and have to live on Top ramen. Thanks Amber for all you do to keep our family life running very smoothly!

General Conference

I l-o-v-e that twice a year we dedicate a whole weekend to hearing the words of our prophet, apostles, and church leaders! I love how their words give me a renewed desire to serve more, make the temple a PRIORITY, be more patient with my children, and appreciate what I have and not want for more. I know that the Lord speaks to us through President Monson! Watching him talk, feels like watching a loving great grandfather who desires for us all to love living and make happy choices so we can feel joy in the journey. The story he shared about the pioneer mother who burried all 4 or 5 (can't remember) of her children along the way made me feel so selfish in my daily complaints. I have two beautiful, healthy boys who bring so much more laughter and love to my life than I could ever imagine.

Tonight was quite comical. After giving hair cuts, the boys jumped in the shower with Doug to rinse off. Talon fell asleep almost immediately in Doug's arms. We took a picture of him sleeping on Dad in the shower. Of course he woke up when I took him out and got him ready for bed. That little cat nap brought out the extreme emotions as I tried to put him to bed without his pacifier (somehow it got lost today). I tried to hold him and pat his back, but he's so big that I can only do it for about 3-5 minutes and my back feels like it's going to break. He's such a snuggler that I feel bad that have such a hard time holding him. So I decided to lay down on the bed and just snuggle. He layed there quietly for about 2 minutes and then he would pop his head up and just give me the biggest smile. Then he'd drop his head back down on my shoulder and pat my arm. This lastest until he decided that blowing raspberries would be fun. Then Jaxon came to bed. Talon and Jax are frequently asking to go to sleep together in the same bed, so I thought maybe we'd try it since we didn't have a pacifier to soothe him. The boys looked so calm and happy together, until we closed the door. Then the excitement began. Doug and I watched on our video monitor and saw the following:

1. Talon pop up, giggle, turn to Jax and pat his back.
2. Doug would yell, "Talon, lay down."
3. Talon would look around and go "huh?" and lay back down.
   
4. Talon climb on Jax and start to wrestle him all while giggling.
5. Repeat #2-3
6. Jax yelling, "Talon stop"..."Lay down"..."No Talon"...
7. Belly laughs coming from both kids
8. Jax hitting Talon back
9. Doug yelling, "Boys, lay down and go to sleep."
10. Jax would immediately lay down while Talon would look around and laugh.
11. Talon still wanting to play, lays on top of Jax.
12. Jax then pics Talon up and bodyslams him of the bed.
13. Talon cries...we go in and put them back in bed.
14. Repeat #1-11
15. Jax decides no more nonsense with Talon and lays at the foot of the bed, attempts to go to sleep.
16. Talon, thinks that's funny and continues to play.
17. Jax then yells, "Daddy, put Talon in his crib!"

So it didn't turn out so well, but the good news is that an hour after we attempted to put Talon down, we did find the pacifier under our bed. THANK GOODNESS!

Back to conference, during this process, Doug and I delighted in watching our boys interact and learning that Talon is definitely a instigator and Jaxon is a problem solver. We could have been upset that they didn't listen to us but instead we just laughed. What a joy children are! I just love my beautiful boys so much and am so thankful that they love playing together! Joy in the Journey right!