Christlike...

behavior is what we're working on in our home.  It's our current "Be" word for preschool and what Talon spoke about in Primary on Sunday.  It's appropriate as we enter the next 4-5 weeks of being daddyless.  I'll need to remember it esp. during my moments of exhaustion.

So today Jaxon exclaims,"Mom, my school bus driver is like Jesus...she has a nail in her tongue and in her belly."  I paused for a moment and said, "She is very kind and friendly like Jesus."

For Easter I had the preschool kids list Christlike characteristics.  We put them in eggs and hid them around the house.  They loved it and so did I as opportunities arouse that day to talk about being Christlike.  I decided we needed to make this whole month centered around being Christlike as it does encompass so much of our behavior.

We had the most glorious Easter celebration as it started Friday morning with the boys playing hide and seek and finding their Easter baskets under a blanket in the closet under the stairs.  They were purely delighted.  It's always joyous to see our children experiencing happiness.

Doug and I jumped on a flight out to North Carolina to be there for our dear friends Bridget and Chris Gitthens baptism over the weekend.  We'd known them from when we lived in South Boston, Virginia 6 years ago.  While we lived there we gave them a Book of Mormon and I bore my testimony in a very lengthly letter.  I also gave her some cd's with inspirational music.  They attended Jaxon's baby blessing and were there when we spoke in church in our tiny little branch.  We were just one of the many seeds that were planted in their lives.

A few weeks previously they emailed us and told us they were being baptised in the Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-day Saints.  Our hearts were filled with so much joy as we feel our friends choice will bring them an abundance of blessings- the gift of the Holy Ghost, a chance to be sealed for eternity as a family, the posterity that will rejoice in Christ's Gospel, etc.  As I watched their children sing the words of "I feel my Savior's Love" with the entire primary choir, I teared up thinking "how do they know this song...it's as if they've come home...many lives will be blessed...oh so much joy!"

Doug participated in Bridget's baptism and Chris' confirmation.  The spirit was so strong both during the baptism and during Sacrament meeting the next day.  Both of their parents and some siblings were in attendance and I just keep thinking "how could they not have felt God's love during the services...it was so intense and beautiful and it was all about our Savior, Jesus Christ."

What did we do with the kids you ask?  Our kind neighbor watched them and then a friend took them to church.  We arrived home in time to have a pot luck Easter dinner with friends.

Ok, time to take a moment

I've been so busy the last few months that I'm really having to analyze my life, specifically searching for some balance.  Last Saturday was the tip of the crazy iceberg as it began with:

a photo shoot
then taking Jaxon to library
home for 2 hours to eat, edit, and admire Doug's new holster he's making out of leather
then to Sam's club to pick up baby shower gifts, then to 2 different baby showers,
then the grocery store for some necessities
then another photo shoot
then on a date with Doug to the adult session of stake conference where the Spirit spoke to me and said,

"PRIORITIZE"
"Slow down"
"it's ok to just be home with your family and you don't have to consume your thoughts with Relief Society"
"BALANCE"
"pray to accomplish the things that are of most importance that day"

So I'm taking some time to contemplate those most important things in life.

1.  The Lord
2.  My loving Husband
3.  The beautiful children the Lord has blessed me with
4.  Myself...Doug keeps telling me I need to do things for me.
5.  Housework???
6.  Responsibilities of being Relief Society President

It's so easy to put #6 as #1 as I feel I've got to be serving the sisters, seeking inspiration for callings and visiting teaching routes, somehow bringing the joy of the Gospel of Jesus Christ to every inactive sister, making sure this sister knows she's loved and that sister knows she's supported, making dinner invitations and playdates to befriend others, etc.

After spending the previous Saturday all day in Nashville at a regional RS meeting/training with Sis. Allred from the General RS Presidency, I came home to a husband who had tended to the kids, made dinner, and after about 2 hours with the family I received a phone call of a sister who needed immediate help.  I then spent the next 5.5 hours in the ER, later Bishop showed up and he and his wife stayed until 3:30am and let me go home to get some rest.  While there we witnessed a horrific scene.  A motorcycle accident had occurred, the "pack" along with friends and family rushed to the ER and they learned their loved one had passed away...wailing, mourning of all forms began to fill the waiting room.  As I sat there in the corner my heart just ached.  I ached for the women screaming "NOOOO!" I ached for the older woman who's legs gave out when she learned the news, I ached for the scary man with leather and tattoos who about put a hole in the glass door.  I wanted to bring comfort somehow to those hearts who were feeling such anguish and pain. I knew none of us there could give them the peace they needed.  But I did gently feel that there was one who could.  One who knows how to succor His people.  One who understands anguish, heartache, pain so intense that caused Him to bleed from every pore.

I know Jesus Christ is the only one who can bring peace to our souls...real, everlasting peace.  He is the Prince of Peace.  His love for us conquers all sorrow, all temptations, all sins.  Christ is our savior and the shepherd of our souls.  He can save us fro our sins, heal of us our infirmities, and lead us to a place of endless joy...exaltation.

I thought of all the recent interactions I have had with people loosing loved ones and it terrifies me that I might loose Doug.  I have a friend who lost her husband in a helicopter training accident last summer after only being married for a month.  I did a photo shoot for her in his memory recently and it was an unforgettable experience and feeling. (click here to see her photo shoot)

That night I came home from the ER, crawled into bed with Doug and snuggled up and just thanked my Father in Heaven that Doug was there.  I don't know what I would do without him.  Doug is my everything.  His upcoming deployment scares me as I know there's a chance he might not come back the same mentally, emotionally, spiritually, physically...or at all.  I know, horrible thoughts.  But none the less, they are real to me.  It makes me want to make the next 5 months the best ever.  (P.S.  I should add that I know Doug will be watched over and protected according to the Lords will and Doug does not fear any of these things...)

So with me trying to find some balance between all the good things in life.  I want to make sure that I'm living my days in accordance to the Lord's will for myself and loving my husband and children the best I can.  My life is good because we are together.  I want them to know and feel that they are my priority.  And if this means I can't be a superhero RS president (or photographer or preschool teacher or best friend to everyone), but that the sisters know I love the Lord, my husband and my children, then that's good enough for me.

Spring Time Family Photos

I know I have mounds of blogging to catch up on, but until then.  Here are our recent family photos taken by my dear friend Pela.

If you look close, Colt is wearing a WVU shirt and Tal has BYU...just a little something fun.

This one she told the boys to smile and me to make a face.

Decemberness that needs not be forgotten

Doug and I enjoyed a date night to his work Christmas party.

Jaxon's 6th birthday.  We went to a gymanstics place to tumble, run, and jump.  Jax loved getting a double lightsaber from Nana, money from G & G McArthur, and a cross bow from mom and dad.

  Doug entertained us with his moves.

all the kids who came

Doug's 32nd birthday.  His brother Ben, Janelle, & baby Bendigo arrived to spend the next couple of weeks.  We, of course, went shooting to celebrate.

Colton's 2nd birthday was celebrated with his favorite food stir fry noodles and he was thrilled to ride his "new to him" but used (got it for $25) jeep hotwheels.  He always envied the neighbor boys who rode theirs and there was not stoppin him when he saw it.

And here's my extremely adorable 2 year old who loves anything advenurous, thinks he's 5, wants to eat yogurt and cheese sticks all day long, very loveable and laughable.

And here he is receiving torture...I mean a haircut.  What a sad cutie pie.

seeks comfort in his "bankie"

Ready for any adventure...did I mention he's always trying to go outside (I like the vest and boots he put on over his footed pj's.

Life changes when life changes.

We are sent here to earth to gain a body and to learn.  To learn what...lots of things like how to make good choices, how to love, how to think outside our selves, how to rely on the Lord and have faith in His plan for you, how to go through hard things and to endure, etc.  O.K.  I know this but when put to my last life test, how thankful I am that I do know this...because I had to pull from all that knowledge base to somehow give me strength when I would naturally deem the tasks that lie ahead impossible.  God always has a plan and will not test you above what you can handle.

Let me back up.

Sept.
Felt prompted to get pregnant the day Doug came home and told me he would not deploy in the Spring, but the following fall.  Ok, so we have a window between June-Aug.  A trip to the temple and General Conference the next day confirmed this.

Oct.
No pregnancy.  Released from YW leadership after only serving for 5 months and felt like I finally was connected with the girls and some who were at me big crossroads in their life.  Super hard to leave.

Nov.
No pregnancy.  Get called to RS presidency.

Dec.
Doug's commander calls him in and tells him he's thinking about assigning Doug to a brigade position as their dentist and will deploy with them for 9 months.  Doug "hears" they are leaving in June, I "hear" their leaving in August.

Immediate prayers turn into "please don't let this happen!"  This was our biggest fear with the Army...it means Doug will be more of an "Army" man and will deploy longer and will have to travel more in Afghanistan which is known to be when most of the tragedies happen (when you leave the armed posts).

But what about that prompting... I'm a week late...

Christmas Eve, decide to take a test before I go to bed....learn I'm pregnant due in August.  Total mix, overwhelming feelings, but very happy and somehow amongst it there was peace.  What if Doug's going to be gone when I have this baby?  Pray, plead, "Please let Doug be here for the delivery...and the recovery."
Try to have Faith that with God, all things are possible.

Christmas Morning, Doug rolls over, "Amber, go get your Christmas present."  I reply, "Yours will be coming in August."  pause...gets it...total excitement can't wait to tell his family that was here.  So he quickly made put this in an extra stocking and hung it up.

Jan. 9
Doug receives orders to 101st Airborne Division 3rd Brigade.  Learn Doug will deploy in September.

I start to bleed.  Tell myself, you never felt sick with this pregnancy like with the first 3, kind of suspected something wasn't right.  Mentally prepared myself for miscarriage.

Jan. 10
Blood tests come back I'm still pregnant with HCG over 8000.

Jan. 11
Internal ultrasound shows no heartbeat and a 5.3 week fetus when it should have been 8.3 weeks.  Lots of tears.

Jan. 12
Blood tests show HCG levels dropped instead of doubled.  Miscarriage diagnosed.  Intense cramping sets in.  Tender mercy from the Lord received during bedtime prayer.  I really feel that baby McArthur is doing what the Lord needs Him to be doing right now.  So thankful for the times when the veil feels thin.

Jan. 13
Tell family.  Thankful I didn't tell all of Clarksville I was pregnant as it never felt right.

Jan. 14
Bleeding intensifies, felt awful.  I'm ok too right...hormones are fun =).

Jan. 15
Go about RS responsibilities as if nothing has happened at all...gives me insight into how others trials can totally be hidden...helps me not want to jump to conclusions with others as you never know what they might be going through.

Jan. 16
Feel blah...the floors are steamed and carpets shampooed...the house is quite so it's time to write about it.

As life changes, so does the individual.  I've felt myself clinging to the things I believe and taking comfort in God's plan for all of us.  I do feel a sense of relief in being responsible for 3 kids instead of 4 while Doug's deployed.  I know it will be physically/emotionally/mentally easier without a newborn.  There definitely is a part of me that is sad and the tears come even when I think I'm good.  But I have totally felt the Lord telling me that it's all going to be ok throughout all the life changes the past 6 weeks.

I love my Father in Heaven.  I love His wisdom.  I love that I have knowledge of His plan of Salvation and that we will be forever families.  I love the times when faith conquers fear and heartache.  I love my Saviour, Jesus Christ, whom I know gives me strength to go through hard things and comforts and understands.

My life has changed (and will continue too) with these life changes.  Thank goodness for faith!

2011 Funnies

September 2011

Tal- as I was gargling salt water, he says, "Mom! How did you learn to do that? Did Jaxon and I teach you?"

Tal-after Dad looked upstairs for a game and couldn't find it, "Dad, you have to turn the lights on to look for it!"

Tal-after finishing the outside edge of a 100 piece puzzle with dad, "See Dad, I told you we could do it without any help!"

Tal- on the way to preschool, "Dad, my nose is hungry? Hear that? sniff sniff. Juice box, (sniff) applesauce (sniff, sniff, pause) yogurt!" the contents of his lunch box.

Tal- "fphessert" Dad - say "duh, duh dessert"

Tal- "Duh, Duh, da da daaa da dddada!" (he has to have his own flair to everything)

August 2011

Tal- "Mom, I need to eat some spinach so I can have muscles to move the couch." To this I reply, "OK." He urges, "Mom, I need it right now!"

Jax- "This is the best gun ever!" (after he shot the bb gun)

Jax- "Mom, I prayed you won't cry when you get stitches."

July 2011

Tal- "We are going to have two girls." (in reference to more babies being born to our family) "And Aunt Kimmie is going to have 11."

Tal- As we are getting out of the car, "I've got to hurry in, Grandma's missed me so much!" (G-ma Mac is visiting us)

Jax- "I like our home in Morgantown the best!"

May 2011

Jax- "Can I get a pet boa if it stays in the backyard?" No. "Can I get a pet boa if it stays in a cage under the back deck?" No. "Can I get a boa if we keep it in the neighbor's yard? =)

Tal- "Mom, I LOVE sleeping the bathtub! It's so AWESOME."

April 2011

Jax- Dad tells him, "I'm going to lock up all these toys on the floor." To this Jax replies, "Dad, I'm very good at unlocking things."

Tal- "Mom, who's belly did I come from?" I reply, "Mine." He says, "No I didn't, I came from Uncle Hunter's belly, because he's my favorite Uncle."

May 2011

Jax- "My cute little legs are cold."

Tal- "Mom, you love Colt and you love Jax, but you love me the best."

Colt- In the morning I come in to get you and you fall over in delight into your blankets, belly down, and just giggle. Then you jump up and hold onto the crib railing and jump endlessly with the biggest grin.

Christmas morning 2011

Christmas Traditions

DECORATE

Doug delighted me as I wanted to decorate the outside of our house for the first time in our marriage.  I thought getting solar powered lights would be smart...except when it's an overcast day and they don't light up at night...oh well...live and learn.

Colton enjoyed the inside decorations.

POLAR EXPRESS NIGHT

This year I invited my little preschool class to join us as we read the book, had hot cocoa with candy canes, built train tracks and Santa's workshop out of blocks.

GRINCH NIGHT
With the help of Nana helped us start another tradition. She sent us pajamas, we did our hair "who"-like, had Steven's candy cane hot chocolate, read the book "The Grinch Who Stole Christmas"and then watched the movie (Jim Carey version).

Ben, Janelle, and Bendigo joined in on the fun too.

GIFT TO CHRIST
Since I got put into the Relief Society Presidency (2nd Counselor) I helped plan the ward Christmas party (this would be the 3rd year in a row for me).  When the RS pres asked for ideas at our first meeting in November, I came with a few ideas.  1. No dinner (too much work for 300 people) 2. Theme: Gift to Christ 3. Have people write down what they are giving Christ this Christmas and put it in a nice box and we'll give it to Bishop so he can see his ward family's goals.  She went for the 2nd two, as I sheepishly hid my notes after the meeting began and a dinner was on already on the agenda.

Then I taught my first RS lesson in December about giving a Gift to Christ.  And I want to incorporate it into our annual family tradition and have us each write down the gift we want to give him each year.

The boys had an encounter with Santa where they showed him what they wrote down as their gift to Christ at the ward Christmas party.

Doug's parents, sister Katie and her friend Sam joined us the 23rd.  On the 24th we were busy, so busy I didn't take any pictures, with the following traditions:

DOLLAR STORE STOCKING STUFFERS

After drawing names, we each had $5 to fill that person's stocking.  I had Katie's name.

CHRISTMAS LIGHTS

We strolled along the waterfront of downtown Clarksville and enjoyed the lights.

CHRISTMAS DINNER DROP AND RUN

The McArthur family was blessed one year by someone who generously gave them food on Christmas Eve in their time of need.  So they always wrap up a bunch of food and some toys and doorbell ditch it to a family who might need it.  The boys had fun doing this with Dad and their uncle and aunts.  

WISEMEN DINNER on Christmas Eve

To save us a couple hundred of dollars, I decided to make Indian and Thai food instead of ordering take out.  I made Chicken Tikka Masala and Coconut Chicken Curry. 

MUSICAL NATIVITY...acting it out through songs, homemade costumes, and family and friends.

This year we invited the sister missionaries, 2 families we feel are close to our family here in Clarksville, along with the McArthurs who were visiting.  Besides Colton crying through most of it, it was wonderful.  We used the script I wrote last year for our church Christmas program/party.

Here a few clips from the evening.

Faith...

remember, that's what you're working on Amber.

Clean...
that's what you need to do right now as there's no room in the house clean enough to feel the Spirit you are seeking.

Pray...
as I know that's where to find peace

Hope...
in our Father in Heaven and our Saviour who helps us do what we don't think we're capable of.

Please, pray the Lord's will will be done in our family's life.  His will is always better than ours.

we've been m-u-g-ed

Mug

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